Zone in on your emotional intelligence

Author: Dr. Julie. Sorenson, DMFT, MA, LPC

what is emotional intelligence?

Learning to understand your emotional intelligence is an important skill to have. So much emphasis in our society is based on reading, math, science, social studies, and the arts. While these subjects are essential, emotional intelligence is often forgotten. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to self-regulate your emotions and use them to conjure thoughts and actions. Emotional intelligence or emotional quotient (EQ) refers to the IQ of emotions. 

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How to Recognize and Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence.

        Improving and recognizing your emotional and social intelligence can be challenging. Emotional competencies are a set of skills that allow you to have effective communication, social behaviors within social situations, and manage and regulate emotions. Look at them as skills that can be altered or tweaked depending on your state of being or environment. According to Riggio, 2021, there are controversies among psychologists debating if emotional intelligence is actual intelligence. The ability to think and process information is attached to our IQ or core intelligence. Core intelligence is the capacity to reason, plan, make decisions, be a problem solver, and learn from personal experiences. Our intelligence is hoped to retain and take that knowledge to progress our thinking (Riggio, 2021). 

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  • Know your strengths and enhance them.
  • Practice gratitude. Write things you are grateful for in a jar or journal to look at later and write a letter to a friend discussing your appreciation for them.
  • Practice meditation
  • Be kind to yourself, write a letter related to your strengths, and self-reflect on things you are grateful for.
  • Be in the here and now and savor the moment.
  • Make time for yourself.
  • Schedule time for things or people that make you happy.
  • Be more present in your social interactions.
  • Take care of your body with a healthy lifestyle.

Familiarity with emotions for effective communication can be crucial in all relationships (Davis, 2020). Learning how to develop your skills in reading others’ feelings accurately while conveying thoughts to others and regulating your own emotions offers some obstacles but is not an impossible feat. It takes dedication on your part to zone in on your emotional intelligence.

Recognizing what people why can prove high social intelligence. Understanding emotions comes naturally for some people, while others struggle to understand feelings. It is vital in all facets of your life to be more in tune with emotional intelligence. It can lead to healthier communication, boundaries, and inner peace. People with a more effortless recognition of others’ emotions and emotional competencies often are skilled in social and emotional intelligence.

Traits of Emotional Intelligence

You are evolving daily, which is no different when trying to grow your emotional intelligence. An excellent reference to skills people has if they are zoned into emotional intelligence is as follows. What are common traits someone has if their emotional intelligence is high? 





Self -regulation


Emotionally in tune. 

Active listening 



Reasons Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

Emotional intelligence can be learned if it doesn’t come naturally to you, even as an adult. Using your emotional intelligence can improve your quality of life and relationships. A few benefits of emotional intelligence are as follows (Davis, 2020).  

  • Improved mental health. 
  • Improved relationships 
  • Improved success at work and home 



Contact a local therapist if you struggle with zoning in on your emotional intelligence skills. They are here to help you and walk along your journey to allow growth in your life. If you want to learn more about where you are with your emotional intelligence take time to take an Emotional Intelligence test. Some of them are free but others cost a few dollars. When looking for a test make sure it is from a reputable site and is evidence-based.





Davis, T, 2020, Emotional Intelligence and How to Increase It. Definition of emotional intelligence and how to be more emotionally intelligent. Psychology Today

Riggio, R, 202, The Truth About Emotional Intelligence. What emotional intelligence is and what is not. Psychology Today

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